We get the whole confidentiality and privacy thing. But we overruled that to share some of the most entertaining and insightful job applications we received for the Professional Food Eater gig. Canberra, we knew you were great, we knew you were creative and we knew you were a bunch of hungry foodies. But this effort, this was impressive. I think a few venues around town could greatly benefit from the contributions of its locals. Enjoy.


“Mmm, I’d love to eat a meat fuelled pizza from Round in Dickson, topped with dumplings from Dickson dumpling house around the corner, keeping them fresh and warm. Now that I think about it, will probably give it a go whether or not I get the job.”


“A giant district schnitzel chips and gravy paired with Beef and Barley’s fairy bread, oh what a combo! Let’s turn that into a schnitzel club fairy sandwich. Canberra and food are the perfect pair, people say shouldn’t you be saving for a house, ah well we would but we like eating.”


“Obviously, I would pair together mac and cheese from Capitol Bar and Grill stuffed into breakfast fritters from Space! Another disgustingly delicious food would be haloumi bites in a toasted veg panini from Gus’. Let me know what day I start.”


“For a tangy appetiser I would start with Mr. Zee’s Lebanese Nachos and then for the main a Wild Wagyu Steak from Pepper Lunch just around the corner.”


“Jalapeno poppers from Mandalay bus and pancakes from double shot Deakin”


“I would pair some of my favourite dishes starting with an entree of Ka Na Moo Grob, crispy pork belly with stir-fried garlic and Chinese broccoli from Kinn Thai in Bunda st Civic. Then for main, I’d head to the Kingston foreshore for Squid ink Spaghetti Nero from La Rustica. Finally, for dessert, I’d start with the delicious lemon myrtle ice cream from Frugii in Braddon before heading back into civic for a chilli hot chocolate from KoKo black. Oh and if I could fit anything else in (challenge accepted!) I would attempt to smash out a cronut and coffee from Ona in Fyshwick.”


“I lust for Morks’ lamb shoulder massaman curry and I want to shred it in the sauce and put in on a Brodburger And yes I want Brie cheese and chilli aioli and no I won’t be sorry!”


“My pairing would be half a dozen of Canberra’s best pineapple fritters (Calwell takeaway) cut up and mixed through a bowl of dirty fries from Farrside cafe in Isaac’s a delicious sweet and savoury concoction if ever there was one.”


“Let me just tell you about my most recent escapade. Picture this. 86 in Braddon. All. You. Can. Eat. I blatantly disregarded the waiter’s warnings not to “over order”. He doesn’t know who he is dealing with clearly. The prawn scallops were calling my name, in chorus with 15 other menu items, banoffee pie rounding out the soprano to finish. Naturally, I order one of everything. All. At. Once. It’s a massacre. I am starving. I’m mixing gourmet chicken with caramel mousse. I stop only to bathe my lamb ribs in the torrent of pinot noir. And then it was done. In a flurry of ravenous gluttony. I had conquered the 86 menu in one sitting. All for a meager 90 dollary doos and only a small wince of disgust from the observing waiters.”


“Kingsley’s fired chicken + Goodberrys frozen custard = fried chicken custard sandwich.”


“Doughnut Department Old-Fashioned Buttermilk Doughnut cross maple-candied Smoked Bacon from Pialligo Estate.”


“Imagine creamy sweet delicious ice cream topped with kimchi. Yumo Then theirs a favourite of eye fillet with a strawberry and pink peppercorn sauce.”


“Ricardo’s macaroons, Messina faux pho ice cream sandwiches. Bistro Nguyen’s banh mi roll stuffed with Super Bowl poke And finally toasted banana bread with butter and sea salt.”


“A Krispy Kream donut in a greasy burger from Grease Monkey.”


“Frugii salted caramel gelato with Grease monkey fried chicken. The burnt caramel of the gelato would work an absolute treat with crunchy fried chicken in texture as well as complimenting the caramel undertones of the chicken.”


“I’ve prepared an eating itinerary for an entire day, combining some of my favourites around Canberra: BREAKFAST We’re kicking the day off with a decadent start – a buttery, flaky croissant from Three Mills, slathered with Black Horse Foods’ plum and cinnamon jam, and topped with Frugii’s famous cardamom ice cream! LUNCH It’s freezing outside so we’ve decided to go with a rich, comforting tonkotsu ramen from Ramentic – but wait! To take it to the next level, let’s throw Akiba’s silky, Peking duck dumplings into the broth too. And for that crunch factor, Rogane Chimac’s Korean fried chicken on the side (spice level 1 to keep things civilised). DINNER (or more accurately, BRINNER) Who isn’t a fan of having breakfast foods for dinner? A hunk of Teddy Picker’s infamous hash browns sandwiched between one of Lazy Su’s baos will keep your belly satisfied. And for dessert – a childhood favourite – a concrete from Goodberry’s combining vanilla frozen custard and Italian Continental Bakery’s cannoli. Does that sound disgustingly delicious enough to you?”


“Young and Frisky do a pretty spectacular greasy fried chicken. I’d love to have that on a Brodburger, with their blue cheese sauce, with a side of Kokomo’s chips (with their amazing seasoning – I don’t know what’s in it but it’s great!) and finally a glass of Bentspoke’s Descent. For dessert I think a cronut from Ricardo’s – the flavour of the week will do, they’re always great.”


“The satay waffle fries from The Mandalay Bus with the Snow Chicken from KimChee. It’s the perfect combination of spicy, savoury and sweet that would make an amazing meal.”


“I am a portly lad who frequently enjoys the delights Canberra has to offer. I am going to stay civic/inner north for my dinner journey I’m about to take you on. For entre: Let’s start with cheesesteak spring rolls from our friends and Lazy Su, add in some cracked rice salad from Zaab some lotus chips from ramentic wash it down with a cass from su. Main: ANY Ramen from ramentic with bbq pork from Tak Kee in Dickson. The Sauteed mix veg from chez Fredric and a glass of (not so Canberra but close) Clonakilla hilltops shiraz. Dessert: Simple and fucking amazing tiramisu from Capital Bar and grill at QT hotel. Special mention and possible 2nd place to the pork buns at Yat Bun Tong and the beetle nut bites from Zaab. Also the swordfish at Tipsy bull…”


“A share platter: Bentspoke’s Hop Potatoes, Smoked Mac’n Cheese Balls and their Grain Crusted Hot Wings, all with their sauces, and smothered in Kingsley’s gravy Oh and FYI Rachael doesn’t share food!!!”