Like a trainwreck you just can’t help but look at, The Mummy not only derails, it totally loses the plot. Not even the biggest movie star in the world; Tom Cruise – could save it. The warning signs were all there when he blitzed the press junkets appearing on every show he could to hook his most disappointing film in recent memory.

Sure its raises a lot of questions relating to why the film exists, why they chose to take this direction, why they’re trying to expand this into a cinematic universe akin to Marvel’s heroes imaginatively named ‘Dark Universe’, but perhaps the most salient inquiry; where’s Brendan Fraser?

The movie is set at a different time, with a vastly different tone, but I can’t help but think that perhaps people would have forgiven this more, or at least given additional leeway if it had starred a whimsical, loveable idiot over a big budget action star.

Tom Cruise plays… a guy called Nick – a mix between Indiana Jones and Drake from the Unchartered video games. He has a clunky backstory but we know his motivation is plundering antiquities. By luck, he chances upon the discovery of a rare mummified tomb, which curses him as the ‘chosen one’, the mortal flesh to revive an ancient evil from their slumber. The majority of this movie is Nick trying to right that wrong, with some expositional content crammed in the middle. Pretty cut and dry really.

Seems like the world building took precedence over telling an individual story, alluding to more money down the line as Universal tries to cash in on all the old monsters of the 20th century (Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, etc.) and this is our first taster. A rocky start rings warning signals, but hopefully, this mediocre attempt jolts future instalments into improving quality… one can dream.

Sure the VFX were good and the acting passable, but what’s the point of a good steak when the best part are the veggies? Another film without meaty content obsessed with style over substance.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh, I mean, it’s not a terrible movie. It ticks off necessary boxes and is definitely a cool-ish concept, but The Mummy leaves an acerbic taste after. Maybe too many cooks spoiled the broth, I mean, why does a movie need six writers? And continuing this food-themed review – the only tip I’d leave; have a meeting and seriously decide which direction you want this franchise to go, because so far, the bar is set to lukewarm.


Rating: 5/10

(2 of which come from Tom’s best attempt to elevate the quality, and another for the zero gravity plane stunt scene. 2 points for everything else).