In 2001, if you had told Vin Diesel that in 14 years that quirky car movie he made about some street racers and stolen DVD players would evolve into a massive franchise, would he have believed you? Would Vin think that movies with plots that entail dragging a stolen safe through the streets of Rio, or literally pulling down a cargo plane during takeoff would be some of the best fun you can have at the cinema?

The Fast and The Furious is now a series so outlandish it has redefined blockbuster cinema. Vin would’ve laughed at you and gone back to making Riddick movies. If you told 2001 Paul Walker the same, we probably could’ve saved him from tragically dying in a car accident last year. Too far? Likely, but Fast7 – the newest installment in the Fast and Furious franchise, doesn’t care about going too far, in fact it crosses the line so far it draws a new one a quarter mile down the road.

I, like many other shameful moviegoers, have a sweet spot for these films, and I’m convinced it’s why they keep making money – and lots of it. New director James Wan is on board for the sequel, known best from Saw and The Conjuring. It’s a natural transition as he goes from horror films to horrible films.

Vin Diesel plays Domonic Torretto; patriarch of the team (or ‘family’ as they so aptly now refer to themselves) whose sidekick is former LAPD Officer Brian O’Connor (Walker). Long gone are the days where the two were first forming their bond and trust, now the plot has developed so much we get an Ocean’s 11-style heist genre where Dom and crew (played by Ludacris, Tyrese, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster) take on enemies on a scale so grandiose it obliterates any sensibility whatsoever….and the film expects you to forgive that.

Following on from events of the sixth film, Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) appears on the radar of the team, as the brother of the villain Owen Shaw from Fast6. He systematically starts eliminating the team (family) one by one… until The Rock steps in. The Rock is a stable of the rejuvenated Fast series, playing charismatic Old Testament cop Luke Hobbs, but only after Deckard whoops his butt and hospitalises him does Dom decides to move.

However, the only way to get his man involves and long and almost inexplicable series of events that won’t fit in this review, but suddenly the motley crew of the world’s best and unkillable drivers are taking on African terrorists, working with Kurt Russell, and travelling the world in beautiful locations with equally beautiful cars doing things even science and physics can’t explain.

Furious7 was the funniest movie I’ve seen all year… and it’s not even a comedy

The reason this film will and is doing extremely well that ticket sales are made up of fans, bored people waiting for Avengers 2 and others who are simply curious. The movie is well known for Paul Walker dying mid-shoot, and the crew has very carefully and impressively used VFX magic to complete the movie with his two brothers playing doubles. His send-off is fitting and well deserved of an actor and character universally loved and admired for his kind spirit and caring heart. It’s so well dealt with that at the end, I could have sworn someone someone in the cinema started chopping onions… It almost made up for the two hours of nothing that went before it.

The central dramatic question out of all this; how can a movie with so much happening in it feel like nothing is happening? Story should be more important than explosions, so a final message to Director James Wan:

Do NOT turn into Michael Bay for the inevitable eighth film!